I feel myself slipping... day 12

For some reason I can feel myself slipping. I do not now why or how, but I just feel it. I usually go really strong for a few days when it comes to a diet and then I tend to fall back into the same ol crap and I am trying not to do that this time. Im coming on 2 weeks of reducing my calories. For some reason there is a fear that when I weigh in this week there will be like a 1 pound lost on the scale.. or nothing at all. And Im afraid to excersise more. I can gain muscle and lose fat and then the scale would not say an loss of weight and that in itself will sadden me. Am I relying to much on the scale? Ugh.. I hate this weight loss crap. I wish I had never gotten fat.

My neice lost 10 pounds in a week! Water weight? And I have a friend who has lost about 21 pounds since sometime in January. I hope to have some good results. I want to see baggyness in my clothes, especially my pants. I haven't changed my pant size in many many many years. Saddening.

Im watching the new season of the Biggest Loser... well catching up right now. I know it has been going on for a few weeks now, but I do not watch TV, so I am watching it on the Biggest Loser website. They motivate me so much, but seems like my butt wont get up and do all the work out required for fear of gaining weight. I wonder if they give a pound or two leeway for the women when its their time of the month. We GAIN like 3 pounds during that time of the month. If not.. its not fair. Just sayin.

Oh.. I really need to go grocery shoppping tonight. Im trying to reduce my meat intake so that means I will have to up my bean intake. Im not good at cooking beans. I am not good at cooking period. I have not used my oven in about 4 years.. just my stovetop. So.. because of this fact, I can't use my oven now without a serious clean that I think you would have to take the stove apart for. oops..

I NEED HELP! I need help thinking of healthy meals and snacks that do not require alot of ingredients, cooking and an oven. lol. I keep eating the same things over and over again. :(


BREAKFAST:bananas w peanut butter. About 400 calories (darn peanut butter and its calories)
Coffee and creamer. Creamer is about 70 calories, no idea about the coffee.
SNACK: Mixed nuts with sea salt.. 1oz: 170 calories
SNACK: Veggies and Ranch dressing.. about 90 calories

SNACK:1 girl scout cookie.. 70 calories
LUNCH: 6 inch veggie sub from subway on wheat bread, mustard and cheddar cheese. 295 calories
DINNER:6 inch veggie sub from subway on wheat bread, mustard and cheddar cheese. 295 calories
SNACK: mixed nuts...100 calories
TOTAL: 1490 calories.

(updated throughout the day)

11

SO yesterday my appetite came back. I had been doing good at getting low calories and then last night I had a carb attack. Rice fill me up! At about 2000 calories last night. Its better than 3000!! So today I am trying to be a good girl. :) I want to go out to eat soooo bad, but I think I just need to go grocery shopping and cook something. If I go out to eat I will be tempted to eat alot. UNLESS I go to Ruby Tuesdays and get a salad bar! Then I can eat as much as want as long as its mostly just veggies. :) Hmm.. I might do that later today. Salad sounds very very good right now.

Breakfast: 1 pecan pie larabar...220 calories
Snack: 1 apple and 1 apple carrot juice.....200 calories
SNACK: 1 fuji apple. 80 calories
DINNER: I went to Ruby tuesdays and had two salads. The salads had lettuce, cucumbers, zuccini, tomatoes, mushrooms, small amount of olices and hard boiled eggs, a pinch of sesame seeds, and about 3 tablespoons of ranch dressing combined. Also had about a 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese and a cup of this pasta creamy stuff. Then they offer these small biscuits.. had 3. So.. I have no idea how many calorie I had last night.. however by that time I had only had 500 calories, so i do not think there was 1000 calories in that meal. So, hopefully I did pretty good. *crosses fingers*

Total so far...??? calories

Trying to get better... not hungry, but hungry. Weird

BREAKFAST: 1 small mango, 1 banana.... 210 calories
SNACK: 1 lara bar... 200 calories
SNACK: 4 saltine crackers.... 60 calories (really? ugh)
LUNCH: spinach walnut salad... 300 calories
SNACK: 2 thin mint cookies... 80 calories
SNACK: mixed nuts.... 200 calories
DINNER: Rice with Indian food. First it started off with a cup and a half of rice and 1 serving of the indian food. But.. my appetite had come back... so I had another cup of rice with more food. Sooo.. im thinking my dinner was about 900 to 1000 calories!!!! Yeah.. trying not to beat myself up for it. At least my appetite is back. Just gotta control it now. lol

Never thought saltine crackers would taste soooooo good! And why do girl scout cookies have to have so many calories in just ONE freakin cookie! This saddens me GREATLY. :(


Total calories... 1950 to 2,050 calories

Fevers suck... just saying

So yesterday I only at about 900 calories due to the fact that I got sick. Around 4pm I started to develop a fever. It lasted until this morning. I have literally been in bed (other than to go to the bathroom and make ramen this morning) since 4pm yesterday. Right now my fever is gone, and that is GREAT. Im feeling lots better today though still have some issues with my lungs and now I am sneezing. Fun fun. I took the day off work as well so I can get better quicker. Really couldn't afford to, but I have to do what I have to do.

BREAKFAST: Chicken Ramen Noodles... 380 calories.
LUNCH: Steamed veggies w cheese...280 calories
DINNER: 1 1/2 cup of Rice and 2 servings Indian Food.....447 calories ( I was still hungry afterward so I had a little bit more. I say about 270 or less.)

Total calories: 1,377 calories

Week one weigh in...

Alright! The first 7 days of the 90 have passed and it is time to weigh in. Verdict is? 3 pounds lost. :) Yay! I do know that there will be weeks that I will lose one pound or even ounces, some that I might gain a pound.. but I need to remember that I need to focus on the whole, not just one week. As long as I am moving and eating right, in the long run the weight will come off. I do need to add more activity into my life. Thinking about getting a bike. One of the reasons is because the gas price is going so freakin high. Pretty soon I am not going to be able to afford to fill up my gas tank, so I need to find alternate ways of getting around. Getting a bike is better anyway.

Some people when they write blogs they blog about everything in one sitting. I update things throughout the day so if you do read these, its probably better to read them at night when all is said and done. Just letting you all know. lol. :)

Me at 291 pounds. With Cher impersonator Wayne Smith.

BREAKFAST: 2 eggs and 2 toast w butter ( I am going grocery shopping today. Need new breakfast ideas)........320 calories
SNACK: 1 Skinny cow chocolate bar...100 calories
LUNCH: Chicken flavored Ramen noodles. .....380 calories
SNACK: Apple/Carrot fruit juice.......120 calories

Total for the day: 920 calories. I got sick.. had a fever and did not want to eat.

Trying up upload pictures and they are taking forever. I think its because I am using wifi. No idea though. Pages have been taking ALOT longer lately to load and I get the page cannot be displayed error alot. Kind of irritating.

Im not going to be doing any working out today. Something is wrong with my lungs. I do physical activity and I get out of break quickly. If I have to cough, I started coughing alot and it really hurts. But then once it stops I feel perfectly fine. Hmmm

Alright, day number 7!

Kinda excited about tomorrow morning. Its my first weight in. Will get to see how much weight I lost this week. I am pretty sure most of it will be water weight, but that is better than nothing. :)

Today I have not eaten much. Have been feeling a little under the weather and so I think my appetite has been a little suppressed so that my body can focus on healing rather than digesting.

BREAKFAST: 2 eggs and 2 slices of toast w butter... 320 calories
LUNCH: 1 slice of bread w one small banana and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter... 340 calories


SNACK: 1 small slice of chocolate stuff.. no idea what it was, but it was good. Also had small handful of crackers.. looked like flaxseed? IDK
DINNER: 1 special K meal bar..... 170 calories
SNACK: 1 skinny cow chocolate bar.... 100 calories

TOTAL: 930 plus the chocolate and the crackers. The chocolate bar was small.. i will say about 250 for both? So total might be around 1180.. maybe 1200?

I went online and found that in order for me to lose about 2 pounds a week I need to eat a bout 1460 calories a day at a sedentary lifestyle. I am trying not to be sedentary so I need to re-calculate

A cheat day?

BREAKFAST: cottage cheese and peaches......290 calories
SNACK: veggies and ranch dip.....140 calories
SNACK: 1 banana.......100 calories.
LUNCH: Garlic Herb Shrimp tv dinner from healthy choice... 260 calories
SNACK: apple and cheese.... 200 calories
DINNER: 1 peanut butter and chocolate chip lara bar.. 230 calories
SNACK: Mixed nuts... 170 calories

Total: 1390 calories

So I have been thinking about having a "cheat" day. One day of the week where I allow myself to go over my calorie limit just so my body does not get used to the same amount of calories all the time. Anyone have any suggestions about this?


updated throughout the day

A little bit easier

Going on day 5. I have found that being at home it is easier for me not to eat. I think its because im not as bored as I get when im at work. When I am at home I can walk around, go somewhere, nap.. but at work I can only sit at my desk. Blah.

BREAKFAST: 2 pieces of bread, butter, and 2 eggs.. 320 calories
SNACK: Veggies and ranch dressing.... 140 cal
LUNCH: Pineapple Chicken Steamer.. 340 calories
SNACK: 1 banana.... 100 calories
DINNER: 1 apple and cheese... 200 calories
SNACK: dark chocolate... 60 calories
SNACK: Mixed nuts... 100 calories
SNACK: 1 banana......100 calories
Total: 1360+ calories

(updated throughout the day)

And on the 4th day... I want food.

So, yesterday I had a bit more calories that I should have, and it is thanks to going to the bar and having a Sex on the Beach. I DID dance last night at the bar, so hopefully I burned that extra bit off. So, Im sitting here at home, one of my days off and I just want to eat. I want to go get me a bag of chips, some queso, turn on netflix and just munch down while watching a movie. Or make some rice and eat a whole bunch of Jasmine rice and Indian food. Or, go to Walgreens and get a small thing of icecream and eat the whole thing... 4 servings. But, im not going to do neither of these things. I just had my breakfast of cottage cheese and peaches. I can wait on my next meal. How long does it take to break a habit or addiction??

BREAKFAST: 1 cup cottage cheese and peaches......290 calories

LUNCH: 7 pieces of bbq chicken pieces. Im saying around 300 calories.

SNACK: 1 skinny cow ice cream thingy.... 100 cal

DINNER
: Rice w Indian food.....505 calories

2 small mixed drinks.. about 200 cal
1 Skinny cow bar.... 100 cal

Total for the day 1,495 calories

Day..... 3!

BREAKFAST: 2 sliced of bread, butter and 2 eggs..... 300 calories

SNACK: Veggies and ranch.....ranch is 140 calories

DRINK: Coffee w creamer......creamer is 35 cal
SNACK: Mixed Nuts..... 170 cal

LUNCH: LUNCH: 8oz chicken breast = 220 cal, .75 cup of jasmine rice = 140ish cal, veggies 140 cal, bbq sauce.... 50cal... Total for dinner = 550 cal
DESERT: Chocolate = 60 cal

SNACK: 1 apple with 1 oz cheese.... 200 calories
DINNER: Lara Bar.....200 calories
SNACK: 1 cup of popcorn.... about 40 calories
DRINK: Sex on the beach.. about 280 calories (REALLY??? wow)

Total 1,975 calories plus

Its 2:25.. and im at 1,255 calories. Will probably end up being at around 1600 by the time I get off work. Im wondering something though. Im going to the bar tonight.. and would i be alowed to get to 1800 as long as I do some dancing? lol

02/18/2011 day number 2 of 30 pounds in 90 days

BREAKFAST: 1 cup of cottage cheese with peaches..... 290 calories

SNACK: 12 oz orange juice..........170 calories

Snack: veggies w ranch.... ranch = 140 cal Veggies...?

DRINK: Coffee with Creamer..... Creamer = 35 calories
LUNCH: 8oz chicken breast = 220 cal, .75 cup of jasmine rice = 140ish cal, Immunity blend veggies = 78 cal
SNACK: Mixed nuts = 170 cal
DINNER: 1 apple and 1 oz of cheese.. 200 cal
SNACK: 2 pieces of dark chocolate... 40 cal
SNACK: 2 bananas.....200 cal or less

Total: 1,683 cal

So yesterday I did pretty good. :) Between 1300 and 1400 calories. Not too bad. Though I need to limit the carbs I think, but the lower calories was well due to the fact that I am pretty sure I have been eating way more than that lately. Todays going to be a small challenge because I am going to be at work and I tend to mindlessly munch on stuff. I made some veggie baggies and I have apples and cheese, made some chicken and going to eat it with some veggies and rice. I also have mixed nuts to munch on as well, and some saltine crackers if things get really bad. Im pretty sure today is going to be an ok day.

I am not working out right now because its my moon time and my body just does not want to do anything. I have done research as well, and they actually say its not good to do strenuous activity when its your time of the month. Im sure yoga would be ok though..

So.. its 4:40pm, just eating the apple and cheese. ALREADY at 1400 calories and I have about 4-5 hours left before bed. Im PRETTY sure i will get hungry again later. I might have to skip out on the orange juice tomorrow so I can eat something later on. I have 2 bananas i could eat tonight.. or a Lara bar. The bar is about 200 calories and would satisfy my sweet tooth, and the bananas would be about 200 calories as well. 1600 calories is better than 2000-3000.. so I would just figure out which would fill me up more, though the Lara bar has more sugar in it. Oh.. decisions decisions. lol.

I was just sitting here looking at sparkpeople weighloss success stories. I find people who were my size and have lost alot of weight and look at their pictures It is VERY motivational. However, my fear of what my skin will look like when all said is done is very strong. Most of the women that i see im pretty sure did not have a stomach apron as large as mine. Im NOT looking forward to what my stomach and chest are going to look like, and Im too chicken to go into surgery. I hope this does not prevent me from losing all the weight I want to lose. Will look awesome in clothes, but will never want to be nake in front of anyone every again. Ugh. :(

OK, so its 8:09 pm.. i have about an hour before I go to bed, and I am STARVING. But.. I can't eat anything else because im already over 1600 calories. Im trying not to eat anything within 3 hours of bed. Going to kill myself for a few days. And Im wanting to go out tonight as well, but I have to work tomorrow and I know that if I go out, I will get a drink, go over my calories and I don't want to do that. And besides, I REALLY do not have the money to go out. I have realized how much money I have spent in the last month or two at the bar, and its crazy. I spend about 20 each time im there and im there at LEAST twice a week. *sigh*

My new mantra for a while.. "90 days is not that long" lol!!

30 pounds in 90 days

Foodage:
BREAKFAST: 2eggs and 2 slices of homemade (grain) bread w butter.... 300 calories
SNACK: 1 medium apple and 1 oz of cheese.... 200 cal
LUNCH: 2 slices of bread, 4 slices of turkey lunch meat, 1 slice of cheese and 1 tablespoon of mayo............280 cal
DINNER: 1 1/2 cup Jasmine Rice w 1 serving of Navratan Korma....505 cal
SNACK: 1 banana.....100 cal

Total: 1,385




Ok. So.. I have decided to start a mini goal thing. At the end of May is the Heartland festival. 5 day camping festival that I have gone to for a few years. I adore going however as a bigger woman it gets rather difficult walking all over the place all the time and there is a huge flight of stairs I have to tackle at least once a day. So, I have decided to attempt losing 30 pounds by then. Right now I am at 291, so my goal weight is 261. Aiming for between 1400-1600 calories per day. I do not think that is that bad of a goal? Do you ? 10 pounds a month is do-able. I am giving up my chips and queso at the bar and as a snack at home on my weekends as well as anything fried. Will have to watch my calories again and start working out at home. I have been doing some Yoga but I want to get a step and build up my leg muscles as well. (I will conquer those stairs! lol)

So, do any of you have any suggestions for me? Things that you have done that you found have worked?

One thing that always is on my mind regarding weight loss is excess skin. I have seen woman who have had the gastric bypass surgery done and the skin is just so bad. Those of you have lost alot of weight naturally, how have you dealt with the excess skin? Right now I have smooth skin. Yes its fat, but it is smooth. lol.

Freakin weather

So.. basically for the past 2 weeks, we have had nothing but snow, so this means that I have been stuck in my house doing absolutely nothing but watching netflix and eating. :( I have managed not to lose any weight at all. I need to lose the 8 pounds I gained and then keep going. The weather is warming up now, so I can do more. Tried doing yoga at home the air on the floor was so cold, just could not do it.

I have realized that I have a MAJOR carb addiction. It is more than most people I know. Something I really need to work on